Yes, it’s true: it is possible to get free business cards. Unfortunately, these offers are often not advertised because the companies offering them would rather have you pay for the business cards. Imagine that!

Why business cards are important

Networking plays a vital role in almost every job. Business cards, while not perfect, are the de facto way to trade contact information and make sure people don’t forget you. While most companies provide their employees with business cards, some don’t. Also, if you are self-employed it’s important to have them made for yourself to hand out at trade shows, conferences, and to potential and existing customers. Having a business card demonstrates a level of professionalism - not having business cards can make your company look amateur.

If you’re looking for a job, a business card can be used as an informal replacement for a resume. If you meet someone at a cocktail party who may be interested in talking with you later about hiring you, it my look desperate if you pull a resume out of your pocket and hand it to them. However, handing them a professional-looking business card is perfectly acceptable and will allow them to contact you for more information when it’s more appropriate.

How to get free business cards

Right now there is a very great offer with a respectable company for 250 free business cards. All you need to do is walk through the steps of designing your own business card and tell them where to ship them. It’s so easy!

Jobs in Homeland Security

You don’t need military experience to work for the Department of Homeland Security (although for some job openings, it would certainly help). The DHS currently has over 650 open jobs across the country and the job descriptions range from Accountants, Computer Programmers, and Human Resource managers.

However, these desk jobs aren’t usually what one thinks of when they think of going to work for the DHS. The Department of Homeland Security also has job openings for those who wish to work “on the ground” helping people and meeting the people they are helping face-to-face. If this is more up your alley, you could have one of the following job titles:

• Emergency Management Specialist (CORE): This is a job with The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) to help Americans in their greatest time of need.
• MISSION SUPPORT SPECIALIST: Work with the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) to secure our borders and enforce United States immigration laws.
• Natural Hazards Program Specialist: Do you wish you could have helped those affected by Hurricane Katrina? That is precisely the kind of work this job would entail.

These jobs are very important and exciting, however, you need the proper education and training if you want to be considered for a job at the DHS.

Homeland Security Degrees and Training

There are several different degrees and certificates that you can obtain that will get your foot in the door at the DHS. Some of the more popular degrees are in counter-terrorism or public safety. Some schools are even offering homeland security degrees to meet the current demand for well-educated individuals in this growing field.

There are several schools who offer online degrees in homeland security related fields. TownieJobs.com recommends going here for a list of reputable, respected schools who will help you begin your career in Homeland Security. Start by requesting your free information from any of the schools to learn more about their program and this exciting industry.

Click Here for More Information!

Look Out Below!
Like to be outside? Not afraid of heights? This may be the job for you! I have trouble getting to the third rung of a ladder, so I think I’ll pass on this one.

Your Elbow or Mine?
If you like small spaces and being close enough to your neighbor to smell what they had for lunch a week ago, then you might not mind this job. I’m not sure exactly what these people are doing, but it looks like most of them are on the phone. Perhaps they’re calling people in the middle of dinner to tell them about a great opportunity?

That’s A Big One
I’m not the type of person who gets satisfaction out of catching turds that are bigger than my head in a bag. I know. I’m weird.

Ready? Aim! Fi…
I guess they ran out of apples to put on this guy’s head.

A Rock and a Hard Place
I wouldn’t wish this workspace on my worst enemy. Well, maybe he deserves it, but certainly not my second worst enemy.

What is your workspace like?

Employers who complain about lack of employee loyalty should give this guy a call; he can’t even turn his back on his old fax machines, monitors, and printers.

This catastrophe belongs to the woman sitting in the middle of it, Esther Dyson. If anybody ever tells you that you can’t be productive in a messy office, point to this example to end the conversation quickly.

Where did I put that book? That is philosophy professor Quentin Smith’s office (pictured).

This is Cass R. Sunstein, the Karl N. Llewellyn distinguished service professor in the Law School at the University of Chicago. I’ve had the pleasure of being in a few lawyers’ offices myself and I’ve never seen a clean one.

Yikes! That is one ugly office. So ugly, in fact, that it’s featured here: AmericasUgliestOffice.com.

Check out this contest where they search out the messiest office and give them a makeover.

What is your desk like? Well, it turns out that if you keep a messy desk you probably make more money and are better educated than your neat freak neighbors according to this study.

So what are you waiting for? Go mess up your desk and ask for that raise!

The worst part is those filing cabinets are used frequently!

Check out the runners up and hope that if you ever get stuck working in one of these cubicles you’ll have the sense to look for a new job.

If these ideas are dumb maybe I should be fired because I think some of these ideas are pretty smart!

Admittedly, some of the mistakes are indefensible. The person who told their potential employer that their friend was a better candidate probably should have kept their mouth shut. Bringing your mother to a job interview? Well, that’s just creepy.

But several of the “mistakes” are actually brilliant ideas when put in the right context.

The Press Release
Drafting a press release announcing the candidate has already been hired might seem strange for a construction job. On the other hand, if it’s for a PR or marketing position it may be a great way to show off your skills. Is it a little presumptuous? Sure, but it also shows confidence and a willingness to think differently.

The Rap Song
It would be a stretch for anyone to recommend delivering your cover letter as a rap song. However, in the right environment (young and trendy) for the right job (something that requires creativity) this might be what makes your resume stand out above the crowd. It’s a surefire way to get your resume passed around the office and have the hiring manager remember your name. If your resume is strong and highlights the skills they need it’s in your best interest to capture their attention; writing a rap song is one way to do exactly that.

The Ten-Gallon Hat
Another way to grab their attention is to deliver your resume in a ten-gallon hat, which is what one candidate did to a company who recently moved to Texas. This is a little less edgy than writing a rap song, and if the candidate was a Texan it might have been a nice way to welcome the employer to their new home. Either way, I’m sure everyone at the office had a good laugh and wanted to peek at the resume to see who would actually do something like that.

While I do think these are great ideas, here are a few things to consider before you FedEx that ten-gallon hat:

• Is the company or industry ready for it? As previously mentioned, these types of ideas work well in creative industries…a rap song isn’t going to get your foot in the door at Goldman Sachs.
• Can your resume back it up? One thing is certain: everyone in the company is going to want to see the resume everyone is talking about. Make sure they can’t ignore your skills and experience even if they think your idea was corny.
• Is it done in good taste? Something that may seem playful to you may offend someone else. In other words, you may want to have Will Smith write your rap song instead of 50 cent.

Happy Career!

Job Qualifications
The manager is expected to win the World Series. Candidates who cannot meet this requirement need not apply.

Ideal Candidate
The ideal candidate will have experience managing 18-40+ year old males who have large egos, make millions of dollars, and may or may not speak English. He or she has extensive knowledge of all aspects of the game: batting, pitching, fielding, strategy…and the ability to win the World Series.

Responsibilities

• Win the World Series
• Win the World Series
• Win the World Series
• Win the World Series
• Win the World Series

Salary
The Yankees are prepared to pay up to $8,000,000 for this position.

Competition
The Yankees are currently considering all qualified candidates including Don Mattingly, Joe Girardi, Tony La Russa, Larry Bowa, Tony Pena, Dave Miley, Bob Brenley, Joel Skinner, Jerry Narron, Trey Hillman, Torey Louvullo, Bucky Dent, Lee Mazzilli, Orel Hershiser, Buck Showalter, Bobby Valentine, and Davey Johnson.

Job Qualifications
Applicant must be 35 years of age or older and have lived in the United States for at least fourteen years. Foreign-born persons need not apply.

Ideal Candidate
The ideal candidate will make decisions based solely on the interests of citizens of the United States. If you are greedy, have ties to any corporation, or are easily manipulated please seek employment elsewhere.

Responsibilities

• Enforce and uphold the Constitution
• Oversee the Armed Forces
• Resolve the War On Terror by developing and implementing a strategy that satisfies all interested parties
• Restore the dollar while growing the United States’ economy, creating jobs, and reducing the national debt
• Fix the health care system to ensure all citizens receive proper treatment
• Fix Social Security
• And various other impossibilities…

Salary
$400,000 plus benefits.

How To Apply
Make an official announcement that you are interested in the position. You will then need to defend yourself against the smear campaigns and lies spread by your competitors. Assuming you win the nomination, several of these same competitors will then want to be your running mate. Don’t pick any of them unless they meet all the above requirements. Win the ensuing election and the job is yours!

Competition
We are currently considering the following candidates:
Joe Biden, Sam Brownback, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Chris Dodd, John Edwards, Mike Gravel, Rudy Giuliani, Mike Huckabee, Duncan Hunter, Dennis Kucinich, John McCain, Barack Obama, Ron Paul, Bill Richardson, Mitt Romney, Tom Tancredo, and Fred Thompson.

Currently accepting more applications…

Personal Care and Service takes top “honors” with almost 10.8% of the participants suffering a Major Depressive Episode. The job track with the lowest percentage is Engineering, Architecture, and Surveyors with only 4.3% becoming depressed.

What can we take from all this? With such high percentages of people suffering from depression we should be on the lookout for the symptoms of depression in our friends, coworkers, and ourselves.

While we’re here, we might as well tell you a little bit about what we do. If you’re looking for a job or to start a new career, TownieJobs.com is a great place to start. You can use the job search engine on the homepage (or in the sidebar) to find a job in your state. We group the search results by city, making it easy for you to find a nearby employer.

Not sure what your career path is? Browse all of our jobs in your local area by using the links on the front page. Whether you live in Washington or West Virginia, we have thousands of jobs in every state!

Thanks for checking us out. We will return the favor by simplifying your job search.

Happy Career!